Me Do It!

I had a cousin who, at a very young age, exhibited an independent streak a mile wide.  When her mother tried to assist her with anything, she would respond with “Me do it!” regardless of whether she was capable of accomplishing the task or not.  In parenting and in homeschooling it is often difficult to know when to help our children, and when to encourage them to be independent.

In today’s field of parenting there is a vast spectrum from ‘Helicopter’ and ‘Tiger’ moms to ‘Free Range’ parenting. While our hearts may want to hang on to these precious years of childhood, our heads know that our children need to become independent, successful adults. It can be difficult to know when to hover, both physically and emotionally, and when to allow them space.

Miss Frizzle of ‘Magic School Bus’ fame likes to tell her students to “Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!”.  I would like to explore these ideas with you in relation to helping children learn the skills of independence and responsibility.

“Take Chances” In their schoolwork and daily lives, allow your student to take chances. Without taking chances, there is no innovation in the world. My son enjoyed making up recipes. Sometimes I would stand by and groan over his creative use of ingredients, but some of them surprised me. Cinnamon on nachos for example, not bad!

“Make Mistakes” within safe parameters of course, let them fail. Sooner or later everyone is going to fail at something. If we don’t allow children to experience failure in the safety of their secure home environment, it can have disastrous results on their mental health when failure occurs in the “real world”.

“Get Messy” Most kids enjoy a good mess, whether it’s exploding a baking soda volcano, building a fort in the living room out of chairs and blankets, or experimenting in the kitchen. Messy can also refer to not having a clear plan of action for completion. It is just as important however, that they practice the responsibility of cleaning up after themselves.

How have you found balance between protecting and guiding while allowing freedom for exploration and independence? Can you think of an example?